but you dont read my blog.
and thats cool cool cool —
i only want people
reading who want
to read.
you dont have to read,
and i guess you can
ask why i need
eyebrow razors????
seriously????
seriously????
if i wanted to kill myself/
cut myself —
if i really wanted to cut,
then i wouldnt need
EYEBROW RAZORS??
IS THAT A JOKE??
LOOK AT THE
CURRENT STATE OF MY EYEBROWS
AND TELL ME I DONT NEED
EYEBROW FUCKING
RAZORS?? ???
if i rlly wanted to cut —
if i REALLY WANTED TO —
then id
grow
out
my
fingernails
super long
even though people think i bite my nails bc of my anxiety, which, i guess i do, too, but i just like biting my nails and i like the look of bitten nails and its kindof just a hobby of mine i guess in a fucked up way and my mom hates it so
id grow
out my
fingernails
super long
and go outside
and sharpen
my pinky nail
on the pavement
and
when it was
sharp
enough id
tenderly
pull up the shorts you bought me yesterday
and pierce
and
puncture
my
soft,
freckled
and scarred
and tanned
thighs and
id slide my nail
under my skin and id
feel around
for a big, thick
bone
and id
fist the
rest of my hand
into the now
corpse of
my thick
thighs
and
id
use my other leg
as leverage
(legerage)
to rip that bone out of that thigh
and id stand on one leg
bleeding and fearless
and in rage
and id
use the
end of that leg bone —
the shards of it —
to
d e f i l e
and dig and
burrow
and mash
AND SMEAR
a hole in my chest
where my heart
is
and i’d
square up and
breathe in deeply and id grab onto my leg bone in my chest with both hands and id just fucking
go bananas and id
pull down
HARD —
with all my
strength, and i’d
grit my
teeth
and
bear it
and id
rake
my bone shards down my chest cavity
and id look in the mirror
smiling
at what i had done
and id take some of my pretty,
pretty blood and id smear it on
my lips like lipstick and id call
the shade
‘eyebrow raxors’
and id continue on —
living in the trenches
of this beautiful but now mutilated body
that you created but
i destroyed.
and then
id get out a nice tulip glass,
say, 10 ounces?
12 ounces?
i cant think anymore bc all my blood spilled out, so ill just grab the pretty one w elephants on it and
i’d hold it close to me —
but not too tight!!
wouldnt want it to shatter —
and id hold it to my lips
and id cross my
leg
and id sip
my
sweet
naked
nectar.
\\\\\\
you can ask,
sure — thats
your prerogative, i guess —
but, wow.
i guess
i just didnt realize that
you
dont
trust
me.
///
to be alone?
at all?
///
youre the one who gave me
these bushy brows to begin
with.
eyebrow razors
save
the
world.
\\\\
and i dont even know if youre
crying bc im sure as hell
not looking up. to
see. im never
embarrassed
to cry openly —
im not.
im
never
embarrassed
of myself.
i swear it.
but right now?
im fucking.
pissed. the.
fuck. off, and
you dont want
to see me — thats
for sure
for sure
for sure/
no doubt.
///
