ugh, anxiety.

is it awk bw taylor and me?

was he more fucked up than we were?

i hope so —

i think its fine.

he said he was drunk —

its fine —

just go pick up arlo in the morning.

he

called me out.

ik it was to vic, but

thanks for the

respect/belief/friendship.

no, but he’s right —

he’s studied more,

so he’s smarter than i.

i know nothing.

right.

he should be embarrased.

tonight he said i was his favorite —

am i still?

i hate you for ditching me.

i hate you for filling my mind and my heart with empty fucking ideas once again.

i hate me for believing you.

i hate us for ending.

i hate that i cant talk to you.

i hate that i miss you.

i hate that you unfollowed me on instagram.

i hate that i care about any of this.

i hate that i cant predict our future.

i hate that i dont know if we have one.

i hate that its been 3 years and youve continued to string me along.

i hate that i continue to wish you would.

i hate that i cant move on.

i hate that i cant talk to you.

i hate that you dont talk to me.

i hate this.

i hate us.

i hate you.

i love you.

i miss you.

i want you.

youre a bully and i hate* you

*love

plucked (obviously) from PA

pricked bc everything is prickly and unfamiliar//im out of my comfort zone

letting go of pricks//probably finding more

“:” is mirroring bc working through mirrored mental state

should be ‘plucked:pricked’ but everything isnt as it should be right now

“paranoid”

“persevering”

“pooped”

“pumped”

“PUSHING”