do you ever get in that mood where nothing is really wrong in life and things are going pretty well so you start thinking of ways to sabotage yourself and you start dwelling on any bad thing until youre really upset over nothing but like you did it to yourself cuz on some level you dont think you deserve to be happy? for some reason? or just cuz you sometimes like to feel really sad cuz its satisfying somehow but like it sucks and your heart hurts and you feel alone and you start ruining good things all because you want to feel sorry for yourself and also your booty is so sunburnt you cant sit?