10:42AM
i know its over but is it? i never feel as alive as i do with you. i havent found anyone that brings me even the slightest bit close. youre a breath of fresh air and youre the heartiest laugh ive ever laughed. somethings wrong inside of me, maybe, bc you clearly dont care about me. you clearly cant love me. youre clearly a cheater. youre clearly a piece of shit. youre clearly not good for me. youre clearly toxic. and yet, so clearly, youre the love of my life. youre my everything. youre my everyone. im so deeply attached to you i swear to fucking god theres something wrong with me. i cant let you go. i dont want to. that year with you was one of the worst of my life but i had you – you were mine. and thats all i want now. id give it all up to have you. im nothing without you. i ache every day bc i need you. this sucks – this is so unfair. i want to tell you everything – i want to text you. i want to call you. i want to hit the reset button. but you dont make any effort, so why should i? im clinging to you. you said you loved me. do you still?
5:52PM – I sent this to tim
hi tim
this is gonna be a lot. i saw mumford and sons the other night and they really spoke to me (obviously) and they talked a lot about love and how hard it is and the whole time i was thinking of you bc im still head over heals for you?? which im sure you know bc i cant hide it to save my life?? and i know its stupid crazy that im telling you this bc its been forever but mumford kept saying youll feel better if you tell someone how you feel bc it doesnt make sense to keep it in. so its taken me way longer than it should have but im saying it now bc i like spending time with you more than anyone and i cant help but want you to be a bigger part of my life. and i wanted to tell you that. ok end rant. bye.
triangles & tree rings 