sometimes

saroquel

doesnt

knock

me

out. and

sometimes

melatonin is

no help, either.

and its rlly fcked

up bc, seriously,

how on earth

am i still

awake

after 100mg

of saroquel and

10mg of melatonin,

like, that should

take down

a bear.

but,

no.

im awake.

again. but its

worse than just

being awake

bc the

saroquel

kinda, like,

paralyzes me

so i can

still

think

but i cant

really move

and sometimes

i cant tell whether

im awake or asleep so

i basically start

hallucinating

which is

not fun

at all

and

its not

restorative

in the slightest

bc im not actually

asleep and its all just

entirely stupid.

and im very

much

over

it.

//

ily brain

but i

dont ily

tonite