sometimes im sitting in a room with a bunch of people

and theyre all laughing and talking and joking

and im sitting there, like, itchy and flighty and thinking about 900 things or maybe one thing 900 ways, and i cant be present — i cant even think about being present

and theyre all having a good time and chatting

and im sitting in the corner thinking about what im going to do when i can leave

and what the fuck is that?

what the fuck is that?

why am i like this?