yesterday was
hard; today
is alright.
i dont
really have
a lot of energy,
but i think
i just
have to
go for a run
and get out of my
head and focus on all
the things that are finally
going so well in my
life / bc things
are going
really,
really well
for, like, once
hahah and life is
super good even if im
shit broke and my
car died yesterday and
but thats just life —
it cant always
be an easy
ride, you
know?
life isnt that.
life aint easy.
life can be super
tough, and your brain
can be telling you
that you should
just lie in bed
and not do
anything
or feel
anything
or work to
help yourself
feel better.
but you keep
fkn going. you just
keep plugging
along and
working
to be
ok.
youre
okay, my
dude. youre
so okay. youre
going to be
okay no
matter
what.
///
today im
making the
choice to work
harder than
my mood
disorder.
im deciding
to enjoy today.
i mean, i
could
just
as
easily
dwell on
anxiety thats
rooted in
nothing and
make myself sick
by doing so and
feel bad for
myself
for
no real
reason —
do you ever
find yourself doing
that? do you ever, like,
start feeling sorry
for yourself
or start
a pity party
for yourself when
your problems really
arent anything
extraordinary —
sorry, but
your
problems
arent always
the end of the world.
count your blessings. be
happy and thankful
for what you
have —
focus on that
stuff. focus on the
good. turn off the Bon
Iver and put on
your favorite
album rn
and put on
some socks —
wacky ones if you
have them (and also
if you dont have wacky
socks then tbh what
the hell are you
doing w yr
life???)
but
anyway —
put on your
wackiest or coziest
socks and dance
around your
space or
just
get up
and stretch
and connect w
your body
or go
outside
and feel the
breeze even if
you live in LA and
the air kinda
smells like
feet —
or idk do
whatever it
is that makes you
feel like yourself. stop
the cycle. break the
cycle. what the
hell is worrying
about or dwelling on
something going
to do for you?
whats that
going to
do for you?
what the fuck
are you doing to
help yourself??? no
one knows how to
help you like u
know how to
help you.
you gotta help
yourself.
you have to
make that decision.
stop fkn pitying
yourself. start
living your
life. start
your
day. start
whatever you
want to start. just
decide to start.
get up, you.
get up,
rae.
just start.
get out of the
bath tub.
go for a run —
as long or as short
as you want.
just start.
give
yourself
today. thank
you for today.
///
today i
am tired
but im
choosing
to work on
bettering
myself.
///
and today?
today, i
am strong.