vic has always said
shes a day/dreamer
through and through.
she’d tell me what
she was dreaming
about, and i’d say,
“oh, wow! thats cool
cool cool!” and she’d
smile and say, “thank
you!” and i’d say, “i’m
not a daydreamer —
i’m an opportunist,
and a critical thinker?”
and she’d say, “oh, wow!
thats cool cool cool!” and
but so i think i lied
when i said i wasnt a
daydreamer. i think i
lied when i said that
bc i’ve always had
wishes and dreams —
or whatever you
wanna call them —
hopes? maybe? a plan?
haha ok maybe not a plan,
but ive always chased
after what i want blindly
and without rhyme or
reason — other than to
the sound of my own
wonky azz drum, of
course // i’ve always chased
after what i thought was
good for me, and what ive
wanted desperately, and
i guess ive dreamt along
the way. i just didnt call it
that. and tbh i guess i dont
even super know what i
called it? maybe just “what
i want my future to be
like” or “this is what
would make me so
happy” or im not
entirely sure —
but i do
know
now
for sure for sure
for sure no doubt that i
do want a lot. i do. and i
also know i’d be happy
with anything, like, i do
not ever want to put
my happiness into anyone
or especially anythings. i
don’t mean to sound greedy
or heady or however else
this may come off, but i guess
i’m a dreamer through and
through bc i want a pretty
bathroom and a stable job
that pays well and i want to
spend a lot of time exploring
nashville and maine and LA
for sure for sure and maybe
go back to the galapagos islands
and idk. i’d love to go anywhere
and do anything, truly — i would
feel so blessed. and i guess i’ve
always just called them “my
wants” more than anything else.
oh, duh — and i REALLY want
a family of my own someday.
i’m really excited about the
prospect of a family and
a husband who loves me
as much as i love him and
that all, yez, maybe seems
a little zany bonkers to
say when i’m only 22 and
working as a barista, but —
i guess i dream big. and i
didnt even know i did. i
thought i was a critical
thinker, and i am — through
and through/ in a lot of ways,
but im just as much a dreamer,
too. im just as much a dreamer
with her head so high up in
the clouds its maybe a little
ridiculous. but i love the
clouds just as much as i
love the sun and the moon,
and there aint nothing
wrong with a whole
lotta love and a
whole lotta
dreaming
so long
as you
work hard for it all and super
value the things you have and
super love the people you have
and idk those are all just some
trings
i believe to be
irrevocably
true true
true.
