i fucking hate wordpress
fuck this
they say its easy to use but
theyre forking wrong —
maybe its easy for
some to use
but if its free
and available to everyone
then everyone should be
able to use it.
thats why i do voice memos
and pictures
and text
and im working on videos
bc everyone should
be able to at least
BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING THEY WANT
TO DO. THEY SHOULD AT LEAST
HAVE THE OPTION.
wordpress is hard for me to use
bc there are too many buttons —
its too cluttered for my mind.
i like simple.
i like streamlined.
i like geometry
even though i hate math —
no, i guess i dont hate it —
i just dont understand
numbers like i do words.
but anyway —
enough about me —
wordpress updated and its rlly hard
for me to use.
fuuuuck
i cant have too many options
when im running
and using one hand
and in mania.
mania and my
obsessive
compulsive
trings
make it hard for me to focus
sometimes — not all the time/
but, yeah, sometimes
it does. i just need a blank
moment/
page/
i just need to type
and be able to link —
i dont want all the bullshit.
i dont need it to look good.
i mean, i need to look good
for me
thats my prerogative
no doubt no doubt
for sure for sure
but this?
my blog?
the domain i bought?
this app needs to work for me
not the other way around.
FUCK this.
FUCK trings that dont WORK FOR WVEEYONE.
ease is attainable if we just wake up.
just wake up.
snap out of it.
check youre “neurotypical” fuckinguhhh
privileged ass self if you are
“neurotypical”
though i dont think that exists.
sure, that word exists,
but does neurotypical exist?
maybe.
if so, i havent met them.
i havent met neurotypical.
never in my life have i.
everyone. ive. ever. met.
has anxiety
at least.
at least.
and i say that twice bc my
obsessive compulsive trings
make me do it but bc
i want to, too.
bc i know what sounds good.
i know what looks good —
at least for me.
i know beauty.
god DAMMIt do i know beauty.
bc i see that in everyone, too.
dont you forkinf get it?
anxiety is beauty.
why do we paint them as separate?
as we learned from
um, fuck
ive never been good at remembering
the names of historical things.
you know what i mean —
separate but equal?
that wasnt
equal.
and fuck you if you say otherwise.
just literally fuck you if you
dont check your
mffinuh privilege.
your muffin privilege.
check whatever your privilege is.
what is it?
——
im waiting —–
and even in mania
i can be extremely
patient.
.
whats your muffin privilege?
good check.
ahahaha
wait i seriously
cant spell the word
privilege.
why do i keep wanting to put a D?
guess i love the D a lot
(i do)
(one D)
(not one direction)
(i mean im sure theyre great but i have no interest in listening to them and thats my prerogative)
(how can i spell prerogative and not privilege)
(why do brains work like this?)
(why does my brain work like this?)
(why does my brain work?)
(who gave me life?)
(my parents. equally)
(and my grandparents. equally)
(and everyone gives me life still)
(alone, i would be nothing)
FOMO used to kill me —
you can read back if youd like,
but thats a far ways away.
fork.
i need help w this website.
i need help to, like,
organize
it differently.
good check.
can anyone help me?
i have a lot of patience
but i dont have the ability
to sit there and code.
never have.
pete
knows that.
pete knows.
guess im going back to college, folks,
bc my AMAZINGLY TALENTED
coding/graphic design prof
is gonna teach me how
to make this site
work for me
(if he can)
(if hes free)
(thats his prerogative)
(also i cant spell prerogative
i just know its “prer” and then
my phone spells it hahahah
sorry had to come clean about that.
i mean, i could spell it —
i know how to —
but why do that work if my phone can?
why do the work of the phone?
i am no phone.
im rae.
im just rae.
well, stingrae666,
actually. Lorraine Pollock,
actually. and Lorrie Pollock, too,
but im also just rae.
and my pussys itchy bc
i NEED UNDERWEAR WTF
HELLO
i need help w my site —
organizing and managing —
and otherwise, probably hahah
and i need my damn logo, Tim,
where the fork are you, mmmy dude?
amiright, ladies?
where’s tim?
ugh. i need
a lot of help.
im getting help today at the psych ward
and im walking now and ill probably
work out w marissa later
and im walking w my
mom now even though
shes on the other side of the track.
we’ll meet up in time.
but rn my blog needs help —
just bc im in mania
doesnt mean
i cant work on my blog
and myself equally.
but all ive ever
been able to
actually do
is talk
HAHAHAH
EVERYONES PROBABLY LIKE
YEAH
RAE
THAT WE KNOW, MY BISH.
and i can write, too.
im a really good writer —
didnt you know?
what are u good at?
lets check that, too.
check your privilege
and check your power, too.
privilege//power
(god, i still cant spell that)
beauty//anxiety
and lets check a weakness, too
bc everyone has them.
heres mine today:
privilege/”have”/beauty: unconditional love
power/beauty: my strong thighs
weakness/beauty: mania/obsessive compulsive
trings/anxiety/headache
AND IM BROKE, TOO, BITCHES
IM SO BROKE HAHAHAHA
and yeah no my head
really really
forking hurts rn.
im done walking.
im done typing.
im prob not done posting
bc posting helps me think —
obviously —
but for now im done
bc mama needs some EGGS.
mama needs some eggs.
oorah.