im feeling

amazing

and so bright

and so s t r o n g

like a triangle

and true

like a me —

like ive always been —

but right now im

really tired, too.

i cant sleep.

my mania wont

let me down!!!!

i wont let

myself

down

i will never let myself down.

im goof

HAHAHAHA

OK SURE, yeah

im a GOOFFF

but im good, too.

im goofd.

im good.

im okay.

and ron is okay

bc i gave him

my blanket

and my blog

before i left

and SERIOUSLY

IM GONNA FREAK OUT

IF YOU DONT LISTEN

TO ME WHEN I SAY THIS

my blog means nothing

to me. this isnt for

clout. i hope you

can see that bc

i may talk to

myself and

say my

name

bc

its

MY

name

and my

name is rae

and i am so strong!!!

but im stronger WITH

you. i found my forever,

and i want that for everyone.

i want that for ron.

i want that for you, ron.

i wanna stan w anyone

whos ever been shot

once or four times

or whatever

bc

bones

C A N

B E A T

B U L L E T S.

and today, ron

taught me that.

he did that.

today,

ron,

TODAY YOU GET

A “U ROCK”

you get that

bc that psych place is pretty scary —

its cold and the chairs are itchy and the toilet seats are metal like

why the fuck are the toilet seats metal

like make them safe but

safe doesnt have to be metal.

safe can just be safe

and sensitive and forgiving —

wheres our forgiveness?

i want a normal toilet

seat even when

im in a

psych

ward.

even when im in the hell of my mind

i deserve a normal. fucking. toilet. seat.

SO DOES EVERYONE YOU ASS SHITS

WJAT DONT YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND —

a lot.

you great, beautiful, LOVING/

GIVING PEOPLE IN THE PSYCH WARD

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO —

SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU.

i cant remember all of your names

but i remember Mary’s bc

she treated me so kindly

and warmly and made

me feel okay.

bc i am okay.

im okay.

im okay and youre okay

and if everyone just stops for

a second and stops thinking

about themselves for once??

if we just listen to eqch other

and trust in the universe

and god and our families

and each other

and

love?

if we just trust?

in love?

if you just shUT THE FORK UP

AND TRUST ME ON THIS ONE

GUYS ITS NOT ABOUT ME

BUT RN IT IS BC I DESERVE

TIME AND LOVE TOO

JUST AS EQUALLY AS YOU DO —

shut up.

stop TALKING.

start LISTENING.

listen to yourself

and to others as equals.

we are all equal.

and FUCK YOU

IF YOU THINK

OTHERWISE.

////

ily guys.

i cant respond to everyone bc ive done a lot of emotional work already and i havent been able to sleep for a few days bc i miss my LA people and i just like fuck i really wish i was in LA but i cant be bc im still working through a lot

////

ily guys.

talk soon.

thank you to everyone reaching aht (sry im in pgh rn lmaooo yinzers n at)

thank you.

seriously.

for reading.

and caring about me.

thank you for caring.

about me.

i really care about you, too —

LIKE A LOT.

LIKE I LOVE YOU, MAN.

but im rlly tired so imma sleep

///

talk soon

stay close

youre okay