i can see my mania and depression now, wow.
i can see it.
its so clear.
is it bc im manic now?
fuccckkkkk meeeee.
im still manic.
i dont want to come down,
but i have to.
i cant live here
as beautiful as it is.
mania seems like clarity–
no wonder you like molly so much.
you love truth.
you love positivity.
you love love.
aw, rae, you love love.
youre so beautiful.
youre so raw.
youre so real.
youre so true.
youre so pure.
and you can be happy.
you are capable and deserving.
and youre strong, too, kid.
youre so strong.
you made it here.
YOU did this.
YOU put in the work.
sure, of course,
you had heaps and heaps
of help.
but you did it.
you decided to do it.
you decided you were
worth it.
you are worth it.
you’re so worth it.
you’re so much more
than everything you
thought you were —
everyone is.
everyone is beautiful.
you shine so bright, though,
dude.
you feel it so purely.
you live it so truly.
God, how awesome is that.
how awesome are YOU?
you are the world.
you are the sun
and the moon.
you mean so much to
the world
and everyone in it.
yes, im talking to you.
and you.
and you.
im talking to everyone
bc we are all one.
and we are
bright and beautiful
and equal and strong.
we all are.
and we’re all walking
our path.
we all have our capabilities
our passions
our limitations
our humor
our hardships
our love
our restrictions
our sunny days
our cloudy ones
our wavelength
our frequency
our soul.
together and beautiful.
i get it.
what was i so scared of?
why did i self sabotage
for so many years?
why did i blindly
walk off the path?
holy shit,
i understand the bible.
i understand religion.
i understand nature.
i understand humans.
i understand family.
i understand myself.
holy shit.
i love myself
and everyone else.
i am capable of unconditional
love.
i can see people so clearly.
ive always been able to,
but i saw them through
my lens of
insecurity.
fear.
anxiety.
doubt.
i have achieved
“enlightenment”
on some level —
whatever the fuck that means.
ugh, wow. im 22!
