i can see my mania and depression now, wow.

i can see it.

its so clear.

is it bc im manic now?

fuccckkkkk meeeee.

im still manic.

i dont want to come down,

but i have to.

i cant live here

as beautiful as it is.

mania seems like clarity–

no wonder you like molly so much.

you love truth.

you love positivity.

you love love.

aw, rae, you love love.

youre so beautiful.

youre so raw.

youre so real.

youre so true.

youre so pure.

and you can be happy.

you are capable and deserving.

and youre strong, too, kid.

youre so strong.

you made it here.

YOU did this.

YOU put in the work.

sure, of course,

you had heaps and heaps

of help.

but you did it.

you decided to do it.

you decided you were

worth it.

you are worth it.

you’re so worth it.

you’re so much more

than everything you

thought you were —

everyone is.

everyone is beautiful.

you shine so bright, though,

dude.

you feel it so purely.

you live it so truly.

God, how awesome is that.

how awesome are YOU?

you are the world.

you are the sun

and the moon.

you mean so much to

the world

and everyone in it.

yes, im talking to you.

and you.

and you.

im talking to everyone

bc we are all one.

and we are

bright and beautiful

and equal and strong.

we all are.

and we’re all walking

our path.

we all have our capabilities

our passions

our limitations

our humor

our hardships

our love

our restrictions

our sunny days

our cloudy ones

our wavelength

our frequency

our soul.

together and beautiful.

i get it.

what was i so scared of?

why did i self sabotage

for so many years?

why did i blindly

walk off the path?

holy shit,

i understand the bible.

i understand religion.

i understand nature.

i understand humans.

i understand family.

i understand myself.

holy shit.

i love myself

and everyone else.

i am capable of unconditional

love.

i can see people so clearly.

ive always been able to,

but i saw them through

my lens of

insecurity.

fear.

anxiety.

doubt.

i have achieved

“enlightenment”

on some level —

whatever the fuck that means.

ugh, wow. im 22!