even now — thinking logistically — i fall back into the “no, i can’t.”

why not?

dad did!

he re-painted how everyone sees and has seen him. he re-branded himself, and he set the tone for how people view him. no one is thinking, “oh, matt, he’s in really good shape now. he must be going through something. ew, he looks so good now. he used to look so pudgy — who’s he trying to fool? who’s he trying to be? he was never like that. he’s so fit now — what was he doing with his life beforehand? if he can be so fit now, why was he so big before?”

like, what??????

THAT’s YOUR LOGIC????

THAT’s BEEN WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK?

oh, my god. i’m going to fucking kill you. you’re such a fucking branding freak.

GET OUT THERE!!! LETS FEEL LIKE THE PERSON WE’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO FEEL LIKE!!! THE PERSON WE’VE ALWAYS BEEN!!!

jesus, what a fucking crazy thing to think through. you fucking got this, dude. this is the revelation that changed how you feel for the rest of your life.

let’s get skinny. let’s get fit. let’s find our skin.