i cant settle down.

my heart is throbbing.

i cant pinpoint whats throwing me off;

whats throwing me here.

whats throwing me here?

my heart is a steady, loud

drum beat marching my body

into more and more anxiety —

it gets faster when i think about it.

breathe in.

breathe out.

what’s causing this?

why is this happening?

youre okay.

something is off.

im running on high.

i dont have full use of my brain —

you know how when a computer overheats

it starts whirring and whining

and doing anything takes forever?

i feel like my brain is running so hard

in the background that

when i try to think it takes such a long time.

i’m running on a really high frequency.

my internal drummer is getting louder.

i couldnt sleep.

is my body giving up?

i’m 140.6 today — i cant wait to get into the 30s.

i will get into the 30s.

i feel pretty sick.

i might puke.