i cant settle down.
my heart is throbbing.
i cant pinpoint whats throwing me off;
whats throwing me here.
whats throwing me here?
my heart is a steady, loud
drum beat marching my body
into more and more anxiety —
it gets faster when i think about it.
what’s causing this?
why is this happening?
something is off.
im running on high.
i dont have full use of my brain —
you know how when a computer overheats
it starts whirring and whining
and doing anything takes forever?
i feel like my brain is running so hard
in the background that
when i try to think it takes such a long time.
i’m running on a really high frequency.
my internal drummer is getting louder.
i couldnt sleep.
is my body giving up?
i’m 140.6 today — i cant wait to get into the 30s.
i will get into the 30s.
i feel pretty sick.
i might puke.