I HAVE SO MUCH UNSETTLING ANXIETY

THIS UPCOMING WEEK (SCHOOLWORK)

AWESOME (YIKES)

SHANNON (DONE FIGHTING?)

COLE (LATE PROJECT)

SEAN (LEFT ON A WEIRD NOTE?)

VINCE (HATE)

RAILYARD (AM I HIRED?)

WHY IS EVERYTHING SHITTING THE BED DURING MY LAST WEEK

but also school is always tough in the last week. awesome is whatever you guys are cool. you and shan are totally fine. cole can suck my ass. sean is fine totally fine. vince isnt worth your time. railyard loves you.

there. youre letting too much get to you. carrie wouldnt be proud. channel her.

youre okay. youre giving cole too much power now — why do you have to feel anxiety just bc he likes to get things done a week early? my way works, too. last-minute is just how i operate. obviously ill get the work done, and if he doesnt trust that, then thats on him.

youre okay. this might be your last night of torture for the rest of your fucking life, so revel in it. there will be a day youll look back and miss these little deadlines that drum up a huge amount of stress. theyre kind of exhilarating in a torturous, stupid way.

i made out with awesome last night like a lot. idk why i did that but i dont care. i guess i was kinda waiting for it to happen. is that embarrassing? he couldnt have been that drunk bc he drove home. thank god he drove home — i have no interest in sex right now.

im a ball of stress and fear. im so close to crying like every second of the day. im really gonna miss the friends ive made in the last month. the grass is always greener, i guess.

aaaand it came out. my bad. but i literally couldnt take it anymore. i was so mad i was invincible. we’ll grow from this. i cant stay mad and i dont want her to harbor anxiety, but you need to stand up for yourself.

why was his door locked

fuck

well, if you had communicated AT ALL with me (or your mom), then i *would* be sitting next to your mom and not between two strangers. dont play stupid. you know i wanted to come bc i told you 7 times. but no. you make everything 500 times more difficult than it has to be, and i suffer because of it. every time. just like last night. and the weekend before that. god, i need to get better at doing my own thing. i did stand up to you last night, though, bc i wanted to nap and i dont live on your schedule. i mean, i do, but i dont want to. i know its more of a me problem than anything else, but, God, am i irritated. all the time. literally all the time.

“what’s wrong?” UM I CANT TELL YOU BC YOURE JUST BEING YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND ITS ALL OKAY. BUT YOURE MADDENING SOMETIMES.

maybe space will be good. otherwise, im going to fucking snap.

and currently, this is miserable. im so tired and i have so much work to do its unreal. i hate this kind of music. my thong is too tight. Galen was just talking about how bad sticky ball is and i was like woah yeah that would suck but it also sucks to have your pussy stuck to your leg kinda and thats whats happening a little bit and all around im so uncomfortable. did i mention im tired?

yes, its all about me. get used to it.

at least we went to this

what

sylvan esso

oh. yeah.

i think we do better than most people.

oh! definitely…just frank and bon iver.

yeah. huge regrets.

yeah.

…next time.

yeah.

*gets up*