this past week has been the most surreal of my whole life. i now understand the definition of surrealism a full year too late.
last thursday my mom and gaga drove up bc i had a bad fever, and jj and i gave our counseling presentation.
friday i was at home crying that i was leaving mercyhurst
saturday night i was on acid at bourbon barrel
sunday night i was on molly at illenium happier than ive ever been in my life
monday i was driving home then going to sheets w galen and leah
tuesday i was doing lines on the captain’s table
wednesday i was at that mexican restaurant with a stomach ache from margs
thursday i was in my marketing final then smoking w leah and galen and shannon and sean
and tonight? idk whats gonna happen
all i know is im happier than ive been in months. maybe since like april. bc the summer sucked and this whole semester was garbage.
i think some things are going to change more than i even realize
am i okay with this?
im not sure. i just wanna be happy. thats all i want.
but anyway, i may never set foot on mercyhurst campus again. i just have to turn in my philosophy essay thats a day late and then ill be done with traditional undergrad. i really hope Railyard still takes me. i also really hope i can get into really good shape.
2018 is gonna be about me doing what i want. strong people know what they want and they do it regardless of those around them, and i want to be like that. i want to put my wants and happiness first and i dont wanna just tag along bc i have anxiety being alone. im sick of that shit.
youre gonna be okay. i think 2018 is gonna be an insane year