this past week has been the most surreal of my whole life. i now understand the definition of surrealism a full year too late.

last thursday my mom and gaga drove up bc i had a bad fever, and jj and i gave our counseling presentation.

friday i was at home crying that i was leaving mercyhurst

saturday night i was on acid at bourbon barrel

sunday night i was on molly at illenium happier than ive ever been in my life

monday i was driving home then going to sheets w galen and leah

tuesday i was doing lines on the captain’s table

wednesday i was at that mexican restaurant with a stomach ache from margs

thursday i was in my marketing final then smoking w leah and galen and shannon and sean

and tonight? idk whats gonna happen

all i know is im happier than ive been in months. maybe since like april. bc the summer sucked and this whole semester was garbage.

i think some things are going to change more than i even realize

am i okay with this?

im not sure. i just wanna be happy. thats all i want.

but anyway, i may never set foot on mercyhurst campus again. i just have to turn in my philosophy essay thats a day late and then ill be done with traditional undergrad. i really hope Railyard still takes me. i also really hope i can get into really good shape.

2018 is gonna be about me doing what i want. strong people know what they want and they do it regardless of those around them, and i want to be like that. i want to put my wants and happiness first and i dont wanna just tag along bc i have anxiety being alone. im sick of that shit.

youre gonna be okay. i think 2018 is gonna be an insane year