what makes me feel alive//what gives me chills

  1. getting lost in music//finding a really good new song
  2. jumping into my bed when the covers are cold
  3. dancing in the car with my best friends
  4. writing something i think is really good
  5. casually walking outside alone listening to a good song
  6. trying something on and liking what i see in the mirror
  7. getting home and eating chips and queso
  8. after i finish a workout
  9. talking to my mom and making her laugh
  10. going to a concert
  11. taking back roads at night when i don’t have to be anywhere
  12. people watching when I’m in an inquisitive mood
  13. a clean room
  14. waking up to a text from someone i didn’t know i wanted to text me
  15. finding something that’s totally “my brand”
  16. being told i did a good job
  17. making someone laugh
  18. the first sip of a cold diet coke
  19. crying in the shower
  20. saving a lot of money
  21. being around life and movement
  22. when everyone in church recites a prayer
  23. when i interject something when someone is talking and he or she says “exactly”
  24. sitting outside wrapped up in a blanket at night
  25. electronic music
  26. good hair days
  27. sitting by a lake
what makes me feel alive//what gives me chills

today is a good day

I JUST CALLED MOM BECAUSE TODAY IS A GOOD DAY. SHE TOLD ME I’M TURNING INTO A DAD — MEANS FOR A BETTER DAY.

WOKE UP. SHOWERED. LOOKED OVER MY STUDY GUIDE A LIL BIT. TOOK MY FIRST MARKETING EXAM OF THE MINI — I THINK I ONLY MISSED TWO. GOT AN EMAIL FROM CCAC INDICATING I’LL BE ABLE TO TAKE THE COURSES I WANT TO TAKE. I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY I’M FULL TO THE BRIM. I’M SMILEY AND LIGHT AND HAPPY AND DANCEY AND SILLY. IM SO HAPPY. WHAT A GOOD DAY. I GET TO SEE GABRIELLE AT KHAO THAI TONIGHT. I THINK I’M GOING TO A ZUMBATHON WITH SHANNON BEFORE THAT. WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE THE NIGHT HAS IN STORE? LIFE IS A MYSTERY TO BE UNCOVERED, NOT A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED.

WHAT A GREAT DAY. MORE UPDATES TO COME UNLESS I DIE TRAGICALLY IN THE COMING HOURS.

today is a good day

today im mad. im not hurting, im not sad — im angry. im pissed off.

im uncomfortable. im itchy. im hot. i have a headache. im fucking pissed off.

im mad at all the people in this world and in my life.

college?

my head hurts. i did nothing today. i barely talked to anyone. i barely left my room. i got nothing done bc i just dont care.

i wish i cared enough about literally anything to spend my time doing something even somewhat enjoyable or productive.

im a total sack of garbage i actually suck a lot. how many weeks left? like 6? hopefully after i get out of this environment ill be stimulated and motivated. and if not? MAN, am i fucked.

college?