im not really particularly happy when im with people (bc i like to do what i want to do — who doesnt?), and im really anxious when im alone. like, really anxious. like, buzzing/heart racing/pacing/mind-numbing anxious. why? do i think everyone else is hanging out with people so i feel obligated to also be hanging out with people? maybe. i just dont like not having an option to hang out with people, but why? so basically im perpetually, always on edge. fuck me.

i was jealous of kirstan(??) last night at onesgiving. and we know what that means.