I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT TODAY. I FEEL SO LIGHT. I FEEL SO GOOD. WHAT A GOOD DAY!!!
i woke up on shannons couch feeling sick and i was like ah fuck how am i going to get through this day i have to uber to therapy and then uber home and go sit in class for two hours sweating from my ass from nerves bc im near riley and other ppl judging me.
so i got a Lyft immediately and ran down the stairs of Lovell and was nervous bc i didnt know what intersection i was at or where i put the Lyft pin but the woman heard me immediately! and i got in and she was so nice and every time id add something to the conversation she would really agree and be like “yes exactly!!” and i felt really validated and comfortable and like we were on the same page. i tipped her $2.
then i went into bay city and sat down and my seat was comfy and a woman came in and actually talked to me for a second unlike everyone else who just stares when i smile at them.
carrie is always so excited to see me it literally warns my heart. i started crying telling her how its been hard for me to go to class and she was so receptive it made me feel so good.
she gave me really good things to work on like i cant judge someone and think i know even remotely anything about the way they perceive the world. i always think people are judging me but im actually just judging myself and pretending like the guy next to me thought it. get out of your head, rae!!!!
then i called mom after my appointment and she was so loving. she had tears in her eyes she was so happy for me. she ripped into social media yet again — i love it. she gets it.
i hopped off the phone bc i was in my Lyft ride w Gerald who reminded me that you have to live for the now — you cant wait for the future. he was very supportive and very kind, and when I was getting out he told me I’m a good person.
then i went to marketing and it wasnt even bad. and i smiled all the way walking home from Hirt.
what a good freakin’ MOOD.