ive been up all night trying to once and for all figure out if im pretty or not.
i swear all through high school and up until now in college i always thought i was decently pretty. like not breathtaking or anything but like i have a good base and not weird looking.
and idk if its bc i put on weight but i think im starting to see myself as i really am?? like i try to see myself as others see me instead of subconsciously posing for the mirror every time i look at it.
idk. so like im coping w the fact that i might not be pretty. and i think i outright refuse to accept that bc my personality is based on confidence and thinking im pretty. if im ugly and obnoxious thats not cute that’s annoying.
i realize im shallow in even caring about this, but i think this is the basis of my identity crisis. bc at the end of the day i want a boy to think im weird and fun and pretty. and you cant be weird and fun and pretty if you arent pretty.
have i missed all the signs telling me im not attractive??
my head hurts ive been staring at myself so intensely. i need an answer or im gonna go crazy.