updates & upswings

i cling to social media bc i crave something -anything – to distract me from myself. 

i go back and forth between wishing my mind would shut the fuck up for one minute and wanting to figure all my shit out so i can help myself. 

i compare myself to everyone on social media even though last year i literally wrote like 22 pages about how its not healthy or fair to yourself to do that.

im leaving mercyhurst. finally. after everything and everyone, im leaving. 

im not sure what the future holds, but im going to figure it the fuck out. 

i hope i can find a job w cool people my age who are looking for friends. id cry if i found that. 

im legit so sick of having problems. im so sick of feeling like i dont have any friends. im so sick of feeling like a failure when im alone. 

fortunately and probably unfortunately, i think im going to be just fine when i find my husband. jesus, i hope he doesnt die before i do. when im with even just one person i love, im happy. i feel content. i feel successful. i feel wanted and safe and secure and whole. and maybe thats how everyone feels im not sure. 

im falling asleep. im skipping Burkes class for the first time this semester bc im so far ahead. i do like his class, though. 

updates & upswings

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s