and maybe it comes with the territory of growing up.
maybe, as we age, our awareness of ourselves comes into focus – the curtain of naive thoughts we grew up on falls to the side showing nothing but our true selves.
and, God, what a hard image to see. what a terrifying reflection to look back on.
everything i thought i knew about myself – my looks, my style, my personality, my strengths, my talents – they’ve been washed away by the demons of comparison and jealousy. i’ve always controlled those demons, but i’ve lost that control.
i feel like a waste of space accomplishing absolutely nothing. i have no direction. no motivation. no pride in anything i do. no passion.
where did i go? what am i going to do?
i think i need new scenery. i think i need to get out of this bubble. i think i need some sort of stimulation to re-invigorate myself.
if i stay here – in this place, in this mindset – I’m not going to make it.