man i have never struggled this badly before. 

ive struggled, definitely, but ive always had a firm grasp on who i was. 

now, though?

im not a designer. im not an athlete. im not an artist. im not a successful leader. im not a good judge of character. im not pretty. im not thin. im not good at handling people.

im not confident in anything i do, and im failing miserably at everything i try. 

i dropped my graphics class today bc i couldnt hack it. she was running through the syllabus and i just stopped listening bc i knew i couldnt do it. 

thats how ive handled everything lately. i havent had the strength or honestly willingness or willpower or whatever it is to try my hand at anything. 

im having an identity crisis. 

i hate this. 

im so uncertain where ive always been certain. 

i cry all the time. 

im lost.