the rumblings

and just like that, i start senior year tmw. 

im really not feeling sentimental – i just want to keep my head down and get through this year. 

did i do it wrong? so many people have these big groups of friends and theyre so stoked for senior year and i have like 2 people and im fatter than ive ever been. 

different frequencies, i guess. 

im back in my head and thinking everyone hates me. i wonder why i do that. its like im back in high school. 

im so self conscious rn and, i mean, im sure the extra 20 lbs isnt helping, but im not sure why im so caught up in it. i for the first time in my life am not confident in who i am. 

and what a scary place to be. 

luckily, i have a year of being safely nuzzled in this familiar place before i launch myself into the world. i have to take advantage of it and use it help me find my footing again. 

i think its funny im feeling like a freshman. we get older but we dont really change. 

im going into the year with no expectations. people do like me – i have to have confidence in that. i have to breathe and just act the way that feels natural. 

get out of your head. try to enjoy this year. 

otherwise, youll be miserable. again. 

the rumblings

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