i instagrammed a dark picture and tony asked my why

Well. So. Im not sure. Ive been spending a lot of time with doctors who are trying to figure me out and they know i have some sort of mental illness but theyre not sure if its schizophrenia or bipolar or multiple personality but bottom line is im different and my brain is a scary place. And i think differently and i dont understand anyone else and i know thats like a typical teen thing to say and this is all so typical people endure this every day but i genuinely hate most people bc theyre too stupid for me to level w them. Their actions and their motives dont even register to me bc im so far up my own ass trying to sort through why my brain is trying to kill me. Idk. So its a slap to the people of society who post selfies and post their lives on social media “youre all so fascinating” bc youre not. Ive met very few truly fascinating people. Bc people are shallow and mean and dont have much to them. But man i have a whole fucking world inside my head and i have a life to live and people have no fucking clue what its like to actually think and actually idk live. And im at my fucking breaking point and i dont care if im a bitch anymore bc i dont care if im seen as nice or classy or whatever bc im just going to confidently live the way i want to. So if i wanna post a wispy nude of me making fun of people who post nudes or selfies or whatever then fuck it i literally dont give a shit. I dont give a shit about anything or anyone but i have so much passion and love and insight into the things i do love. Idk. Im not sure what it means. I just know that usually i dont post what i want to post bc im walking the line of whats socially acceptable and this was my first insta where i didnt overthink or over filter i just posted it bc i liked it and it fit my mood in that moment. And my mood changes so rapidly i cant even catch it but i did. Here. There. There it was. But on top of all of that why did i post it? Why do i care? Idk bc i stopped instagramming for months bc i hate ppl who instagram but i wanna put myself out there bc im pretty Fucking amazing and people should get to see that. So maybe they can be less dense and less stupid and grow up a little. Im just tired and i feel separated and isolated and im over it all im so over all of this bullshit and im only 20. Jesus its gonna be a long go of it if im ALREADY OVER IT ALL. So. No. I cant explain bc i dont know what it means

i instagrammed a dark picture and tony asked my why

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