Ive told shannon im going to kill myself. And maybe i am. Im not sure. Why am i such a sick fuck to make her worry about me? Do i crave change? In my life? I feel so guilty. I feel terrible but also i feel like im living like my heart is beating. I think i like to hurt people the people who care about me. Why? Wtfs wrong with me?
i think i like hurting people. Bc im above them and i crush what they see in me. But only if i think theyre below me to begin with or they’ve proven themselves to be lesser. Otherwise, all i want to do is prove that im up to someones standards and be on so and so’s level. But for everyone else, i dont have time and i dont care.