eye lashes & eye openers

You know how people always wish on eye lashes? Because that makes sense? I don’t know if I believe that wishing on eye lashes does anything, yet every single time I have an eye lash, I wish on it. And every single time I have an eye lash, I wish for the same exact thing.

“I wish I can be happy all by myself.”

I’ve said before that I think human interaction is the reason behind life and it’s what makes everything worthwhile, but I don’t think we should depend on another human for our personal happiness.

Being a 19-year-old girl, I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak. And it sucks. I was recently so intertwined with this guy to the point where I lost myself. I’m not exaggerating when I say I would have done (and would still do, if I’m being honest) anything for him. My happiness depended solely on how his day was going and how much he texted me back and how happy he was, and it made me sick. Physically sick, even, like I had a cold for three months.

My infatuation with him spiked my depression and worsened my anxiety to a new place – a place I’d never been. Not necessarily a new low per se, but a new place entirely because at least when I was at my lowest point before, I was there because of myself. This new place, though, was because of him – or so I thought. It was because of him because he existed, but it was more so because of the power I gave him over me.

“I wish I can be happy all by myself.”

I’m not trying to tell you the story of how I got my heart broken. No one wants to hear that story. I’m trying to tell you that you should be careful what you wish for on your eye lashes.

When I was with this boy, I would wish on every single eye lash that we would be happy together. I wished this because it was all I cared about – he was all I cared about, which meant I was putting him before myself and my happiness. I never want to be in the place I was in because of him again. I never want to be that weak again.

Don’t mistake vulnerability for weakness, either. I think allowing yourself to be vulnerable is one of the strongest things you can do! But there’s a huge, huge difference. I’m still learning the line between the two, so I can’t really speak on it.

So, instead of getting your heart broken in order to learn this lesson, take it from me: be happy all by yourself, and don’t depend on anyone else to make you happy. You know what they say, “don’t put your happiness in someone else because they can take it away,” and “they” are so right.

eye lashes & eye openers

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